this is my journal. [entries|friends|calendar] Millicent Bulstrode [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[22 Jun 2005|06:51pm] Home at last. And even though it's Knockturn, and with what's going on in the world it's shadier than ever, it's the only place I've ever really felt safe. We may not be rich or classy, and our morals may be a bit questionable, what with all the pickpocketing and black-market-selling. But this place...it's just...mine. I'm going to stop writing in this journal after this. The whole world is going mad, it seems, and the only reason this place isn't so bad is because it already was bad. I don't know if I'll be entirely the same person next year, or even if I'll survive the summer. So I'll just leave this on a happy note...because despite my often leaning toward pessimism and misanthropy, I want to leave my story open for a happy ending. So. Home. but here it comes again.

[17 May 2005|08:06pm] [ mood | cold ] All kinds of crap has happened lately and I don't do a damn thing. That stupid fight. I couldn't help either side. I just threw around a few random hexes who-knows-where, almost the way a little dog will start yapping when something excites him and not have any idea why. I shouldn't be standing on the sidelines all the time, not when the world's the way it is now. I'm not claiming to be a genius, but I've got to be better than this. I'm not a coward...At least, I don't want to be. I never tried to be valiant or despicable. I've always hoped I could just stay in the grey area, and even now, after most people have some idea of themselves, I'm clinging to nice, safe neutrality. Really, though, what are the chances that I'll actually change, and be able to do something definite? I've told myself to so many times already. but here it comes again.

[03 May 2005|08:26pm] [ mood | bored ] I probably should have updated this sooner, but I thought to myself, why write about absolutely nothing? Which is still what I'm doing. she said: "I hate the rain" [8] but here it comes again.

[04 Apr 2005|12:59am] [ mood | blah ] You know what would be really crazy? If the entire school didn't go insane for once. But I guess that would be boring. In other news, I tried to pet my cat for an extended period of time today. He got very angry with me. she said: "I hate the rain" [2] but here it comes again.

[26 Mar 2005|09:39am] [ mood | pissed off ] Fuck. I actually liked the old man. Do you know how many people I can honestly say that about? I've said it before: It is a war, and things like this are going to happen. But that really doesn't make me feel better about it. she said: "I hate the rain" [22] but here it comes again.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. [17 Mar 2005|11:51pm] [ mood | blank ] I'm a Leprechaun. she said: "I hate the rain" [18] but here it comes again.

[15 Feb 2005|11:30pm] [ mood | blah ] Yay, Valentine's day is over. It kind of sucks to be an asexual person on the day when the whole world is dripping with hormones. My kitty left a mouse in my slippers. I suppose that was thoughtful of him, though a bit of a nasty surprise. I hate being reminded of how well liked I am not. Though I suppose having indifferent classmates is better than having pity friends. Being pitied turns you instantly helpless, while being disliked still gives you leave to fight back. I kind of want to make more of an effort, but I don't know if I even know how. I don't really know why people don't get along with me. I am making no sense. Every time I think too much I sound like an idiot. she said: "I hate the rain" [8] but here it comes again.

[27 Jan 2005|03:47pm] [ mood | grumpy ] I'm sick of all my classes. It would be really nice if I were any good at the subjects I actually like. ...but then, come to think of it, none come to mind. In other news, has anyone seen my cat? I think he may have gone into hiding from Mrs. Norris. she said: "I hate the rain" [6] but here it comes again.

[03 Jan 2005|12:12am] [ mood | drained ] Do I have to go back to school? she said: "I hate the rain" [6] but here it comes again.

[19 Dec 2004|09:54pm] [ mood | calm ] I'm at home. I like it here. I mean, I'm not exactly more fond of the house than Hogwarts, but I like the idea of freedom. At school you can't really go anywhere except...well...around the school, and if you sneak out you've got to be careful no one catches you. School has most definitely contributed to my insanity. Here, though, I can go where I want, when I want, because there aren't so many rules and everything. Really, no one cares what happens in Knockturn, so long as there aren't a bunch of people dropping dead everywhere. A lot of people are afraid of this place, or think it's all full of scum, but it's the only place I can really call home. Yeah, a lot of dark magic goes on around here, but we're not all a bunch of Death Eaters who will make human sacrifices of any non-shady characters who walk through. We'll probably just try and sell them illegally acquired goods. People around here aren't the most trustworthy, but here I've got friends who look up to me or see me as equals, rather than a lot of the Slytherins who tend to think of me as someone lesser than them. Wish some of them went to Hogwarts instead of...Durmstrang or wherever most of them go, I've never asked. she said: "I hate the rain" [3] but here it comes again.

[01 Dec 2004|02:51pm] [ mood | blah ] We're in a war, what do people expect? Stuff like this happens all the time in wars. It's too bad when people die, but that's all a part of it. she said: "I hate the rain" [3] but here it comes again.

[23 Nov 2004|06:32pm] [ mood | pissed off ] The Quidditch game went quite badly. Mostly because we lost. Half the team got injured in the process, everyone was brutal on both sides. (But, of course, the brutality was noble and completely justified on the part of the Gryffindors.) I managed to score a few goals until I smacked into another player and was dizzy the rest of the game. What really bugged me was how happy the rest of the school was to see us lose. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff weren't for Gryffindor, they were just against Slytherin. They think they're better than us because a patched up old piece of fabric said they have more admirable qualities. I'm all bruised up now. Don't mind much, it could have been much worse, but it still hurts like a bitch. she said: "I hate the rain" [3] but here it comes again.

[17 Nov 2004|11:37pm] [ mood | cold ] I got another letter. It basically said nothing, dunno why anyone would write something so pointless aside from keeping bland, meaningless contact with someone they can't relate to but for some reason don't want to let go of. Bah. Anyway, he's probably got some important Death Eater stuff to do, can't waste time on letters. I know I wouldn't put forth to much effort if I had a daughter like me. Heh. I drew a pony. I'm not fond of ponies. she said: "I hate the rain" [2] but here it comes again.

[09 Nov 2004|09:48pm] [ mood | weird ] I got a letter from my father today, for the forst time in...ever. So he knows about me. This could help along our father-daughter relationship, I think. He's a Death Eater like mum said. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. I mean, plenty of my classmates have parents who support You-Know-Who the Dark Lord, but I've always thought they'd been rather brainwashed with their parents beliefs. That's the advantage I've got over many of them. I get to choose my own beliefs. I'm tired. And I'm really liking the idea of setting something on fire. she said: "I hate the rain" [4] but here it comes again.

[25 Oct 2004|06:04pm] I am Millicent. Which Hogwarts Student Are You? brought to you by Quizilla I didn't expect that. ...I don't look at all like me. she said: "I hate the rain" [6] but here it comes again.

[18 Oct 2004|08:27pm] My cat just brought me a few scraps of a very old and rare looking book. Best of luck to the owner. she said: "I hate the rain" [10] but here it comes again.

[04 Oct 2004|06:32pm] [ mood | weird ] I'm sixteen today. I think Murphy remembered. I found a mouse on my pillow this morning. Wonder if I'll get a letter from Mum this year. she said: "I hate the rain" [7] but here it comes again.

[25 Sep 2004|12:32pm] [ mood | exanimate ] Sometimes the world is just too troubling. I wonder if someday I'll reach the point where I just stop caring. she said: "I hate the rain" [2] but here it comes again.

[10 Sep 2004|05:16pm] [ mood | angry ] School is not fun. FLAMING HELL I WANT TO BURN SOMETHING. she said: "I hate the rain" [12] but here it comes again.

[27 Aug 2004|11:35pm] [ mood | annoyed ] WHY. AM. I. SO. BORED. Honestly, usually something happens to me. But instead, NOTHING. So I'm confined to wandering around Knockturn outside my home all day or sleeping. Though I guess sleeping isn't so bad when I dream. she said: "I hate the rain" [16] but here it comes again.

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